“Call me.” That’s what you said through a text. What for? You clearly know how to text me and how to send friend requests on social media. All these forms of contacting me to get across what you need to say and yet a phone call is all you insist on. Why do I have to be the bigger person? Why when it involves you, you continue to let me down? I wanted you to be apart of my life. So what happened?
You will always hold a place in my heart, my mind, soul, and in every tear that falls from these eyes. The very eyes that used to look up to you in amazement. You used to out rank everyone. This rare figure that only came around when it was convenient for you. Thanks for keeping me in mind, I guess… What a burden the life you chose must have been, having to go out of your way to spend time with me. Love at first but now just a chapter you want to get passed to create false peace among two worlds.
Get it together. These worlds will never merge. Only collide just to drift further apart. So do me the favor and stop. Stay on the path you have paved for yourself and enjoy it. The more you look for me the harder it is for me. You made your bed and you’ve slept in it, no need to set fire to it, as well. No need to break up two families. Stick to what is around you and do better. Be better. Be the person you always wanted to be.
You’re trying… there’s no need for you to try anymore with me. I need you to be at peace with your decisions which means let me go. Don’t bother with trying to bring me over to your side. That doesn’t exist anymore. There is no more “you”, for me, to look for. There hasn’t been for a great portion of my life. The version of you that I will forever carry will only be the best memories. The pain you have left will vanish one day and I will find my peace. You do the same.
You have chosen your life, your side, your reality. Great. I’m truly happy for you. I want nothing but the best for you and your family. The way I’ve kept myself distant is what I want from you too. I want you to leave me alone so we can all be at peace because I don’t want to suffer just so you can be happy. And I’m sure you don’t want that for me either. I’m not going to try and keep you to myself so I am freeing you from me. I am giving you an out because that is what I need. One less pressure weighing down on my mind.
I release you. I will not call you. But thank you for the beginning. To our next beginning, maybe, one day.
Oh and P.S. To the monster looming over you that believes I’m the problem,
Look in the mirror. I hope you see your worth and carry only good intentions moving forward. I hope you learn to love yourself so the young ones around you can grow with only love in their hearts. Treat them well and know the day you let them go I’ll be there. Open arms and nothing but love to shower them in. They deserve the best, so be better for them, and have a good one.
You know you have people around you that will always love you to the end of this world and beyond. I love that you love your little sisters and always keep in touch with them. Keep that line open for them to talk. As they get older they will need someone to talk to. Most likely you would probably relate and understand them better than anybody else. I love you for that! Thanks for sharing.❤😘