Saturday Morning: Down the Rabbit Hole We Go

It’s the end of a long week. Now it’s time to sleep in and relax, right? Not for me… I still wake up with the sun on a Saturday morning. Even with blackout curtains once it hits 6am my eyes are open. Now don’t get me wrong, if the dream was good I’m going back in. But I am only there for another hour before my eyes shoot open and by 7am I am officially awake. During these quiet mornings, I enjoy nothing more than taking it all in before the rest of the house wakes up.

Well, excluding my thirteen reptiles, their day lights come on an hour before I’m up. So once I give my two herbivores, Ham and Frank, their salads and hand squeeze water for my three legged Spanish boy, Steven, to drink, I can then deal with me. The rest are night babies so I don’t have to feed them until later in the day.

But back to the morning. This is normally the time I take a shower and cry out tears I’ve held onto from days before. Or make breakfast just for me… and if Arthur, the house dog, wakes up, a little for him too.

I try focusing on me by recapping what happened during the week and figuring out where to put it that’s no longer just hanging out in my head. I, definitely, get pulled down further than just surface week related endeavors. And that isn’t always a bad thing, just not a fully welcomed adventure for a short morning to myself. The best way I learned with dealing with the extra involves embracing my elements.

Saturday Morning Showers

Those morning showers are my favorite. They are the fastest and sometimes the easiest ways for the past week to wash away down the drain and be done with. It’s as if, I’m transported to a tranquil place as soon as I hear the water running.

When I get in is when my eyes start to water. They escape comfortably disguised. My mind free to wander and find pain I didn’t even want to remember. But I go with it. I allow the water to flow down over me and clean off the emotions seeping through. The heavier the tears the lighter I feel after.

This is a Saturday morning shower in it’s positive light. A healing process to alleviate my mind of minor predicaments. Not a solution to conquer the constant war.

The Downside

I endure it all until certain past subjects creep in and ruin the healing vibe. A shower can not rid my mind of those that easily. In fact, when I don’t force it back down it can mess up the rest of the day. What would have been such a great start turns into shutting down until further notice.

I don’t talk about it. I don’t let it go. And I go through it all over again. Reenacting the scene with no changes. I am trying to fix this. But I know in order to it takes confronting the individual in person. Face to face, raw feelings exposed and tears flowing from both our eyes.

One day, I will be at peace. But not right now. It is just a Saturday morning. And there is no time tomorrow on a Sunday because I work. An excuse I give myself because prolonging the healing process seems like a future Ariana’s problem. Terrible, I know, but it’s all me by the end of day.

Right now, though, I will continue. There’s another element that helps release my past week away.

Taking in the Fresh Air

Now that it is the best season, the air outside just seems more inviting. A walk in the park, drinking tea outside in the backyard, or just sitting on the stoop allowing the wind to flow through my hair and give my arms goosebumps from the slight chill. Just thinking about it makes me want to type this out outside.

Like crying in the shower, breathing in the autumn air is cathartic. The wind blows a little stronger when I am out there as if cleansing my aura. The hands of a higher power brushing off the stress and relieving the pain with each passing breeze. Then the air calms down and it feels as if the Earth has stopped moving. At that point, I feel different. Balanced, perhaps.

A centered feeling where everything seems still because it is all revolving around me. I am the still point in the world. I hold this feeling, as long as I can, before it is interrupted. Sometimes it’s lasting but mostly it fades once I go back inside.

More of a seasonal healing, since it doesn’t have the same effect during the summer or winter. On a good day, I can get this same therapy in the spring but the breeze has to carry a similar chill. Either way it is relaxing.

The Flow on a Saturday Morning

Quite relaxing, bringing a journal or sketch book outside puts the cherry on top and I don’t even like maraschino cherries. I’m typing this all out sitting by an open window and the lack of writers block is superb. There’s just something about the air that allows the creativity to flow. You should see the box of yarn and crochet projects I have under this window, where I sit for hours just working. Maybe it’s the window but I know whatever art form I choose this early in the morning for the rest of the day, it comes out the best when the outside has a view of me.

The week has passed and today begins a fresh start for the new. Whether I have to write out in my journal the unspoken traumas the shower opened up or take in the calming sensation the cool air has provided me, it all gets done on a Saturday morning. The only day I feel more inclined to call out of work just to enjoy the few hours to myself.

Something everyone should find time for. Make sure even if for a few hours, maybe 30 minutes, that you too find a portion of peace. Doesn’t have to be daily, though that would be ideal, but it has to happen at some point. Mine happens once a week or every other week but it does happen. Because if not, I would be an anger person like how I was when I worked night shifts at a lab… Those were dark times. My family and boyfriend remember very well of that Ariana. No one should be that irritable.

Thank you for Reading!!

This was a fun piece to introduce some of my animals and share some habits I try to keep in control to help me let go of my week. As my mom said,

Do your best not to close out the week with yesterday’s toxic energy or holding onto anything that is weighing you down.

It is over and done with and so it should be forgiven and released. Try your best to never bury feelings and let’s all walk a little lighter each day.

Thank you for reading and have a beautiful Saturday!!