Is change necessary? Does it indicate growth in one’s character or relapse in one’s behavior? Should we strive for change or accept ourselves fully? I believe change requires positive reason, but even then does that insure grand results?
Character Change
Along the way, we acquire, whether wanted or not, insight on our being. Most people carry no issue on calling out our faults and imperfections. Not just on our outward appearance but on the person we carry ourselves as.
Mainly small nit picks but there are times when another informs us of an unknown habit. Whether it be our negative speech, easily triggered rage, or impatience, someone will make sure to hold us accountable though we may say otherwise.
In those very moments, it’s best to stay quiet and truly reflect. Take an even greater moment and figure out whether this trait is worth the backlash. Change doesn’t have to mean erase. In most cases, change is realizing and altering. Switch it up so the reaction or outcome you expected is attained naturally.
I’ve grown aware of most of my bad habits and many of my triggers. Knowing is the first step and changing the them for what I believe is in my best interest is the goal. Sure I have moments of outbursts but understanding where I was unreasonable and addressing it is as well a change.
As long as there is an effort on your part to do better than no matter the outcome you are moving in the right direction. Your own direction of betterment. Those you keep around you may be the next step of change.
Thinning the Herd
We have control of ourselves but those who surround us follow their own way. Understanding that makes it easier to let them go when our paths no longer overlap.
Those people are the easiest to separate from. When both are driven towards your own goals. And sure keeping in touch is fine in most cases as long as there lies no need to control the other. That’s when full departure is necessary. Each other’s life is their own to create and remembering that is key.
Then there’s those who have no strive. There’s no use in carrying dead weight. There’s no point on dragging people behind you who have no desire in using their own two legs. Drop them and feel how light your body gets. And enjoy how fast you can continue on down the road you want to follow. Letting go of this one is more challenging but not impossible.
Sure we would enjoy nothing more than continuing forth knowing someone is accompanying us along our way. But as my grandmother says, “we weren’t born holding anyone’s hand”. She used to drive me crazy with that but it holds it’s truth.
Don’t allow someone to manipulate you into believing you are abandoning them. Do not allow someone to stop you from being yourself and happy. Do in fact provide understanding and closure before bidding farewell. Assist in any last minute predicaments and be on your way. Moving away from one another to pursue your own is best. Feeling guilt is normal at first but if done correctly it should be a fleeting one.
Love Change
Similar to thinning the herd the point of changing your significant other is to better yourself. Again change not having to mean erase but at least recap together on where you two stand.
Maybe it’s as simple as black and white. Falling out of love but willing to work on rekindling a fading flame. Or unfortunately more complexly gray. Holding on because of insecurities or having full control or lack thereof. When a relationship’s description is labeled one word, “toxic”, that is a clear indicator to end it. No need for fixing or tomorrows. Just get up and leave and do not look back.
Fortunately, I was raised to be independent and have a beautiful understanding of self worth. So when I state certain things brutally blunt and seemly simple that’s because for me I have no problem with ridding myself of people.
I hold no bounds to anyone let alone enjoy their company more than I need to. I’m an animal person. So I’ll never know the struggles of feeling alone or unwanted. I can’t relate to needing someone or relying on another. Maybe as a child but even then I grew out of that maybe even too early. But I love who I am today. And for me to move forward i had to let go of a lot of people. Not all bridges burned because I’m not a monster. But I definitely have the smallest circle I’ve ever had so far. I also don’t see it as a bad or good thing. Just where I’m at durning this stage of my life.
And because I know paths are not straight connecting to those in my past is possible. Down the line there could be a moment were we cross paths again. And it will be an amazing reunion knowing after all that time we’ve found one another again. Catching up like olds times and realizing certain choices were for the best.
Thank you!!
I know this is Valentine week so I didn’t want to be all dark and annoying. Love is in the air (the smell of food about to be served in front of me 😍lol).
I wanted to make sure that whether you have someone or not there is love to be had. Self love and care for those ready to treat themselves to a beautiful you day. And love of presence not presents 😆. Enjoy each other with no expectations, give because you want to and receive an even greater gift: the increase of love you have for someone else.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you!! Enjoy the day and share your love❤!! Thank you for reading!!!